Are you or someone you know an Emotional Masturbator? Emotional Masturbation is when you watch videos with the sole intent of feeling an extreme emotion. The Emotional Masturbator has no intention of being entertained, all they want is that sweet emotional release. Some like to cry where others like to be pissed off. People in the creator industry know this and therefore create content based off the growing public need to feel something. Companies like Halmark have banked in on Emotional Masturbation for years. Others like CNN, FOX News, MSNBC, etc. have also found themselves capitalizing on this growing epidemic of Emotional Masturbation.

Let’s start with those who like to cry. John Lewis and Partners is a brand of high-end department stores located in Great Britain. Their Christmas Advertisements have become a hit with the sadness seeking Emotional Masturbator. They are such a success that they have spawned an entire “reaction” trend on YouTube where you can watch others Emotionally Masturbate to the store’s advertisements. I have included my favorite John Lewis and Partners ad above.

There are a ton of brands that capitalize on peoples need to emotionally masturbate. This is more present around holidays. Christmas, Mother’s Day, and New Years being the major national excuses to make people cry. Brands do this because they know it will not only grab the attention of the emotional masturbator, but it will be likely shared around their circle. Creating a circle jerk kind of scenario.

On the other side of the emotional spectrum, we have the angry masturbators. Now I’m not talking about some person furiously fondling their no no zones. I’m talking about those of us who watch videos with the sole intention of being angry or scared. For this example, I watched a documentary called “The California Reich” (above) and it details the life of several prominent members of the 1970’s California Nazi Party. The part that stuck with me was when they talk about their secret weapon. This direct quote is from the 28-minute mark:

“…We were able to get probably $10,000 or $20,000 or $50,000 worth of television time. Our enemies control the TV stations, but we have something which changes very smart people into helpless animals, the swastika. You can go up to the most cunning beast on the face of the earth and change him into helpless puddy with the swastika. It makes them so angry and so outraged we turn them into puddy.” – Arnie Anderson, American Nazi Party Member 1975.

The reason this stuck with me was because it illustrates what harm bad people can do to us simply by invoking an emotional response. Using our hatred for Nazi’s and their symbols The California Nazi Party was able to go from fringe basement meetings to mainstream television. Which undoubtedly helped grow their party as their messages of hate were able to leak into our living rooms. This is very active in our media today and should be remembered as a warning for the future. Check yourself before you wreck yourself and make it harder for people to jerk us around by our emotions. You never know who’s really behind the message.


USELESS FACT: Tear overflow goes through your nasal passage.